I’ve noticed we’ve become significantly less tolerant of others. This needs to change. But how?
My husband and I are doing some major landscaping on a new house we bought. Builder spec home, so the landscaping was pretty light. We are adding many trees… as I absolutely love as much nature and foliage as possible. The two nurseries delivered the trees and set them in convenient places for the landscapers to plant. It’s a mess util it’s done… but I’m excited to see the end result.
The other day we got visited by the town’s development enforcement person. Apparently a neighbor complained that she couldn’t see safely while exiting her street. Instead of coming over and asking us about the tree in question (which wasn’t planted), she called and complained. One minute of her time would have let her meet her new neighbors, found out the tree wasn’t going to block her view once planted, and made new friends. Instead she choose a hostile action.
We’ve got to be more neighborly. We have, as a community, got to be kinder, more helpful, better at communicating.
Last night I read this post from a friend and mentor. He was explaining why he never discussed politics. His point was that you’re never going to charge their mind and you’re only going to create hostility.
Have we become that closed minded? Do we become hostile when we disagree? According to the local news… yes, yes we are… and yes we do.
You cannot change without having an open mind. And you cannot grow without change.
Nothing I say within this post will change your mind… and that’s not my intent. Instead I’m going to challenge you.
I’m challenging all of us…
The SHAK Commitment (the Self Hypocrisy, Accountability, Kindness Commitment)
- Every day I will carefully choose what I read and watch, choosing only positive and balanced content (this is going to be super tough, but you are what you consume)
- I will reflect on my opinions and views. and choose each and every time to take action in a positive and kind way
- I will hold myself accountable for communicating with kindness, thoughtful intent, respect for others, and an open mind
- I will challenge my opinions and positions with an open mind, looking for short term and long term solutions that reflect love and peace
- I will judge myself and others with nothing but an open mind, and open heart, and the kindness and love every single human being deserves
- I will reflect on my thoughts, words, and actions and look for damaging content. Eliminating the “all or nothing” mindset
- I will look for hypocrisy in my own actions. I will carefully, and with kindness, not look for it in others
My challenge goes like this, start by committing to these action items for one day. That’s it… just one day. At the end of that day write down your experiences. How do you feel? Where was it hardest? Can you do this again? Each day commit to it again. The tough part… or at least one of the tough parts… is committing to this and not seeing others change their behaviors to be more positive and accountable.
But that’s not your role. If each of us does this, we all will be better. But it must, MUST, come from within.
Reward yourself, reward your children, reward your team (this would be a great team commitment).
There is plenty in life that isn’t fair, that we don’t like, that hurts or harms us. It can be cruel and difficult. It can be life altering. If we all worked on ourselves, focused on our impact and actions, held ourselves accountable, we as a society would be far better off.
So let’s try this… today… tomorrow… and every day.
I will be holding FREE group coaching sessions to discuss this and how we get beyond our self-destructive habits. Want to participate in these FREE group sessions? Contact us here and you’ll be added to the list.