You do not want to live in the past… kick 2018 off with a whole new view.
There are many memes and quotes circulated at the beginning of the year. They make it sound so easy… just be positive and everything will work out. Apparently, this is the year of “Being Selfish”. A good intention, I’m sure, telling you to think about how to improve yourself, take care of yourself.
Instead, I propose a different theme: 2018, The Year Of Consequences
Everything you do, whether it’s an action you take, or taking no action at all, has a consequence. Consequences can be positive or negative.
The Year Of Consequences!
- Be positive: This goes to your intent. Assuming the good intent of others, checking your intent, and choosing the positive whenever possible. No, it’s not practical to be positive 100% of the time. We all have crap to deal with and these tough times are definitely not positive. However, you can make them positive when you check your intent and choose actions that feed a positive outcome.
- Be grateful: … for everything. Find a few things every day to actively be grateful about. Good friends, close family, creative thinking, sunny days, rainy days, opportunities, challenges, bacon (ha!). You get the idea. If it’s a tough day, be grateful for knowing that it’s tough and that you’ll get through it.
- Grow up: You own your emotional maturity and communication capabilities. Considering these are the foundational aspects of all my coaching programs, we all need to work on these… evolve these… practice these often. You own this and nobody can do it for you. There aren’t even nootropics that can help! Your emotional maturity, resilience, allows you to choose more options and relate to life with less stress and more focus on goals. Communication is required to make all relationships and interactions with other humans possible. If you can’t communicate, you won’t be understood, nor will you understand others.
- Take your career seriously: It’s your job and you get paid for it. If you don’t like it… fix it or find another. You own your success and no one holds you down. We’ve all had times where we felt trapped in a crap job. We couldn’t fix it, and we couldn’t leave. What do you do? You find another path… and that path is not playing the victim. Create some goals and strategize how to accomplish them. Need help getting started? Hire a coach that does career coaching!
- Value relationships: It’s likely you have several relationships in your life. Family, close friends, co-workers, clients, acquaintances, neighbors, a significant other. All of these relationships affect your life, and you affect theirs. Reflect on them and remove the ones that add strife or drama (when you can… if you cannot, limit interaction with them to what is necessary). If you have people in your life that bring you joy, laughter, peace, entertainment, comradery, continue to build those relationships. Value those who value you, and who bring positive energy into your time together. I cannot stress this enough. And don’t think just conventional relationships. I have clients, and a family member, who have many “online” friends that they are close with. These relationships bring them happiness, and that’s what matters. The family member would remind me “They also bring me frustration!” I laugh… that’s the tell of a true friend, the ride between happiness and frustration. If it’s more happiness, and the frustrating moments are about little things, or ways to open your mind, then you’re golden. This relates to all relationships. Value people that bring happiness and new ideas, that bring loyalty and support, that challenge you in safe ways, that have your back, make you laugh, consider you important, and care.
- You’re not a victim: There are many unintentional consequences to being a victim. You create a habit of not having control, you create an exterior image of being a victim to others, you create a weakness in yourself. Crap happens, I get that. And sometimes you’re a victim in the technical sense… I’m referring to how you respond. You can respond like a victim, or you can respond like a superhero. Take those challenges and look at what you can learn, and how to respond that feeds your goals, morals, ethics, and positive intent. Look long-term, not in-the-moment. Reflect on who you are and be positive.
- Be the role model for your intended end-state, meaning don’t just fight for something, think ahead and create a path to its utopia. This is the stickiest area for unintended consequences. You think what you get up-front is what you want, but it creates a negative you have to deal with later. This negative might be huge, or affect many others. Since you own all your actions, and their consequences, this is an area in which you must strive to succeed… thinking ahead and working for a long-term solution… then live it as a role model.
Everything has consequences, short-term, long-term, and at times, unintended altogether. Make this the year you reflect on what your consequences will be, and take action wisely. You can’t choose the consequence, but you can influence it!