Fear is a liar. It robs you of all your best opportunities to change and grow. Don’t let it.

If there is one thing the INTJ’s external thinking helps with is the ability to overcome fear with ease.

Fear is the emotional response you have when you are faced with a new situation and assume unbelievable and unlikely negative consequences.

Fear is not avoiding jumping into a fire or a pit of acid. That’s logical thought based on facts. You have a known outcome. Fear is of the unknown… and usually quite delusional based on your personal filters.  We take comfort in what we know, even if we don’t like it. The brain is wired to keep our habits the same. As “animals” thousands of years ago, we used fear to warn us of real danger. Fear was a state of action, not a state of being. Fear led us to run or fight. Evolution doesn’t progress as fast as sociological and cultural growth patterns, so we still have to consciously manage our innate fear response.

INTJs are masters at overcoming fear due to their strong logical streak and their constant desire to learn and experience something completely new.  They are more risk tolerant because they’ve already analyzed the risk without emotional considerations. They will make huge changes in life that others may see as extreme. They always succeed though, whether it was as they planned or as they learned and modified along the way. INTJs know that fear is a liar and that, like all other emotional responses, needs to be kept on a very tight leash.

You need to see fear the way the INTJ does. Overcoming fear is one of the foundational abilities leading to happiness and success in life. If fear guides you, your growth is restricted.

 

  • What’s the worst that can go wrong? Don’t be extreme here, but think about it. Unless it’s death, it can be fixed. Failure is not a state to avoid. You should accept failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Embrace an unexpected outcome… it means you get to experience something new. You can only be a better you when you change, grow, evolve. You have to experience completely new and different things to do this.
  • All things can be modified and remediated. So when you fear something due to your perceived thought that you can’t address the risk now, you’re hindering your possibilities. Let’s take location… you want to move somewhere but you think you can’t find a job. Huge fear right? Huge limitation you’ve put on yourself. Don’t. You can find jobs anywhere, find remote work, change the scope of what you do now, network with locals and consult, etc. A child didn’t learn to walk because they’ve done it before. You can learn by watching others fail (passive learning and something the brain doesn’t habitualize), or you can learn through personal experience (brain creates whole new neuropathways). The greater the perceived risk, the greater the learning opportunity. The greater the change to current habits, the greater the learning. You will succeed if you choose to work towards the success. Don’t let fear choose your path.
  • The fear of being emotionally hurt (heartbreak) is one fierce roadblock. From our first heartbreak on we learn, habitualized, an expected result based on a stimulus (situations, triggers, etc). We *think* we know that when a prospective mate does <<insert action here>> they will end up hurting us in the end. This is absolutely illogically because no two people will ever respond the same way to the same set of situations. True, chances are everyone will respond the same way if you shoot them… but not everyone will respond the same way to your job, your life choices, your mistakes, your gifts and talents, etc. Do not let your past become the wall of fear that determines your future.

Just dive in. Take on life with a new sense of glee and trust. Embrace the things you have no idea how they might end up. Uproot yourself, your thinking, your comfort-zone, and walk for the first time… then run, then dance, then…

The next time something new comes into your life, an opportunity to change, look fear in the eyes and say “You lie”. You’ve got an opportunity to move… move. You’ve met your soulmate… be all in. You hate your job… quit. You’ve got a new job… absorb with all your energy. Always keep moving forward and no do let fear lie to you, determine your path, keep you from experiencing all that life has to offer you. If there is anything you will regret when you’re older it’s the things you chose not to do because of fear. Fear is a liar, kick its ass.

Have questions? Feel free to contact me. And, if you’re interested in working with me, check out my coaching program.