I can’t tell you how many clients tell me they avoid conflict. The reason usually given is that it’s too stressful and they’d rather wait for the “emotional aspect” to die down. Let me be clear, avoiding conflict only works in one circumstance. And it’s not the one you think.

You’re avoiding conflict because you think it will just go away. And it will, to an extent. I suggest you ask yourself this first:

Do I care what the outcome will be if I avoid this conversation?

If you don’t care, sincerely have no opinion on what the outcome might be, go ahead and avoid it. I actually suggest you do. Why waste time and energy on something you have no opinion about?

However,

If you have an opinion…

Or if you don’t know what you want…

The only way you will influence the outcome is to have this conversation, conflict-ridden or not.

You cannot influence something you don’t engage in. 

Do you fear the outcome? Sure, you might not admit that… to the other person, much less yourself.  But fear needs to be a state of action, and your action should always be related to a goal, meaning don’t do anything that doesn’t further a goal. Don’t use fear to avoid something that you have an opinion on, or that you might have an opinion on. Fear will only cripple you, and will never have the desired effect or outcome. Fear never gets you what you want… unless you’re using fear to run away from a sabertooth tiger 😉

I’ve had clients also state “things happen for a reason”… when it’s purposeful, absolutely. when you take action out of fear, you’re doomed to repeat failure.

You choose everything, either proactively or reactively. What I’m suggesting is that you make all your choices proactive. Never let fear make a choice for you.

conflict-decision-tree

Not biohacking your performance? You can always start today.

“Biohacking Beauty: Feeding Your Heart, Soul, Mind, and Body” (book by Elle Hunt) coming in 2017.

Have questions? Feel free to contact me. And, if you’re interested in working with me, check out my coaching program.