Today I heard an American use a british term. Tis’ the season to embrace who YOU are, grateful for what YOU have. Do not covet thy neighbor. I am always shocked when I hear people try to be something, someone, they’re not. Do they really see themselves so lowly that the only way out is to pretend to be something different? As children we do this: play pretend. We pretend to be the teacher, the Mom (or Dad), the wife, the superhero, the shop owner, the spy. But we grow out of it… or so most of us do apparently. The truly sad thing is to see someone that hasn’t grown out of their fantasy life. I feel so sorry for them. The mother in me wants to hug them and tell them they will be just fine… that they too will grow up and find their calling, their purpose. The realist in me whats to shake my head and be appreciative they’re not in my family. I couldn’t imagine their level of drama on a daily basis.
Yes, drama. Living in a fantasy world is pure drama and nothing less. Think about the young, or the mentally ill, that live deep within their fantasies. These adults aren’t without some levels of reality (or they too would be deemed mentally ill), but they have something that keeps them from embracing who they really are… their purpose. To be clear, these aren’t the people that want more in their lives, constantly strive for change. These are the people that have instituted aspects of this fantasy life into their real lives. They pretend to be something, or someone, they’re not. Like this lady today… American, with a slightly southern accent nonetheless, using british terms. If her self esteem wasn’t so low I’d laugh, but I really felt sorry for her. Once you looked further you could see other tell-tale signs she wasn’t happy with herself. Dyed hair, heavy eye and lip make-up… heavy makeup in general, talking about herself. The clerk, a man, wasn’t paying her enough attention, so she’d walk up to him often and start a new topic of conversation. That’s when she described her friends car that “has a decorated bonnet this time of year.” OMG, I nearly laughed out loud… no joke. She weaved in a few more terms throughout her rant… including “y’all” (HAHAHA). I kid you not, this was an actual breathing human being… pretending to be british… to impress some poor guy… who had no interest in her. Yes it was… sad.
So why am I sharing this with you, my dear technical engineering friends? Your life happiness, and thus your happiness within all aspects of you life (like your career) fully depend (100%) on your authenticity. If you are not authentically you, one hundred percent… one hundred percent of the time, you will not be fully successful. Period. I cannot stress this enough. You may see slight gains, or moments of success, but they will be fleeting… because they are not yours. Only you being fully authentic will create you’re own fully authentic success. That success will be based on your gifts and talents. Because it’s based on who you are at your core, your success and happiness will be deep, genuine, rewarding, and growing.
Remember, you will never be fully successful or happy being someone, or something, you’re not. Even if it’s just a little extension that’s not authentically you it will affect who you really are. Tis’ the season to embrace your personal gifts and talents, to be thankful and grateful for what you have and who you are. Instead of pretending, look to grow your authentic gifts and find purpose to your life. It may not be the life within your dreams, but it will be your dream life if it’s really yours.
I realize that those who weave fantasy into their lives rarely notice it, and often excuse their behaviors as rational. My post today isn’t for them, for I fear they’d simply dismiss it as not applying. This post is for you. You should reflect on your behaviors, your outward (and inward) personality, your desires and actions, and ask yourself if you are authentic. Authenticity doesn’t protect you from life’s hazards, but it does ensure your contentment, real happiness, joy, success and peace. If you ever ask yourself why life isn’t going your way, wonder why you encounter so many challenges, or seem to be waiting for that “break”, then it’s likely you haven’t come to appreciate your authentic self.